A patient sobs to his doctor, “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”
At work, one co-worker says to another, "Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you."
Teacher: "Today we are going to learn about tenses. Now if I say, 'I am beautiful', which tense is it?"
Student: "Obviously that would be past tense!"