While working in the psychology department at a local college, I was asked to enlarge a chart for a meeting. I called the copy room and asked, "Can I get something blown up down there?"
After a pause, the voice on the line replied, "I think you want the chemistry lab."
I had been in heaven as an Apprentice Angel for about three months and was enjoying my stay. The day came when I was called to visit God.
GOD: "You are about to get your wings."
ME: "Lemon pepper of Barbeque?"
GOD: "Get out... just go..."
I was asking my friend at what point did Celsius and Fahrenheit become the same.
One of my other buddies quickly chimed in, "-40 degrees..."
Impressed I said, "I didn't know you were so knowledgeable in weather science?"
"I'm not," he said. "But I have been to Minnesota."
To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.
We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember.
After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."