Retired Terp Profile

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Retired Terp

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2019
# of jokes posted : 106
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 66.00
6 votes

"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?"

"Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my novel."

"Very impressive," he commented, "but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours."

Mrs. Smith explained brightly, "Oh, but that was during office hours."

6 votes

CATEGORY Work Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |
6 votes

The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"

6 votes

CATEGORY Golf Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |
4 votes

The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news."

Dan said, "Give me the good news first."

"They're going to name a disease after you."

4 votes

CATEGORY Doctor Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |
4 votes

The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally, she went to the pastor's study and asked for help.

The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock.

The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said.

"It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling."

4 votes

posted by "Retired Terp" |