Retired Terp Profile


Retired Terp

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2019
# of jokes posted : 107
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 66.00
$7.00 won 3 votes

At their high school reunion, Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years.

Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?"

Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either."

Sarah says, "No children and no grandchildren... so tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"

3 votes

Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$8.00 won 3 votes

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$9.00 won 3 votes

"Look at this mess!" roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut.

"It's just as you ordered it, sir," the waitress replied meekly.

"What do you mean?" barked the customer.

"You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut and step on it."

3 votes

Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
3 votes

After being widowed for a few years my sister recently remarried.

When I saw her I asked, "I'll bet your husband talks about his first wife?"

"Not anymore," she told me.

"Why not?"

"I began to talk about my next husband."

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Retired Terp" |