Retired Terp Profile

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Retired Terp

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2019
# of jokes posted : 107
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 66.00
$6.00 won 6 votes

The Priest was shaking hands after his sermon, My grandma said, "Reverend that was the longest sermon I've ever listened to, it was boring as well."

The Priest was surprised and I wanted to mend fences so I told him, "Father, pay no attention to her, she only repeats what she hears other people saying."

6 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$7.00 won 4 votes

My daughter was working for the American Embassy in Australia when she was expecting her first child. I was so happy when she texted me with the news.

"I'm a grandfather!" I said to my coworkers.

"When was she born?" somebody queried.

Recalling the date she told me, I thought for a minute and said in a calm voice, "Tomorrow!"

4 votes

CATEGORY Baby Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |
$6.00 won 2 votes
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I had just become a Second lieutenant in The Marines when my mother and I were walking toward the Iwo Jima monument. We were about to cross the street when a truck was coming toward us. We jumped back out of the way.

The driver, a USMC Gunny Sergeant slowed down, leaned out the window, saluted and told mother, "Don't worry, I wouldn't hit an officer -- there's too much paperwork in it."

2 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Retired Terp" |