My son wanted to know what it's like to be married...

I told him to leave me alone, and when he did, I asked him why he was ignoring me.

What do cats like to eat for breakfast?

Mice Krispies.

To succeed in life, you need three things...

A wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.

Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.”

Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?”

Doctor: “Every two hours.”