I've been in love with a woman for seventeen years...

My wife would kill me if she ever found out!

One day a woman brings her daughter to the doctor's office to get her checked out.

After the checkup, the doctor tells the mother that her daughter is pregnant.

The mother exclaims, "I'll have you know that my daughter is very classy and is still a virgin!"

The doctor immediately looks out the window.

The mother angrily screams, "What are you doing?!"

The doctor says, "Last time this happened, three men rode up that hill."

Interviewer: "How well do you work with Powerpoint?"

Applicant: "I Excel at it."

Interviewer: "Was that a computer joke?"

Applicant: "Word."

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot.

It got so bad, I had to take his bike away.