Our favorite restaurant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful".
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at me all day, I can at least be called something I like."
Politicians and diapers... Both need to be changed for the same reason
Nurse: "Doctor, doctor! The man you've just treated collapsed on the front step! What should I do?"
Doctor: "Turn him around, so it looks like he was just arriving!"
The nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the emergency room where another golfer, who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated by a doctor.
"Is he a relative of yours?" the nurse, stepping outside the room, asked the pacing golfer.
"No," replied the man. "It's my ball."