Me: I taught my dog to play chess.

Friend: He must be very smart?

Me: Not really, I beat him two games out of three!

Boss: Why your performance has not improved this year?

Employee: Because I didn't get good incentives.

Boss: Why didn't you get good incentives?

Employee: Because my performance has not improved this year???

At an election booth, a woman was applying electoral ink to her forefinger.

She asked, "How long will this last?"

The officer replied, "60 days!"

The woman asks, "Could you please color my hair as well?"