entertainment jokes

During a training exercise, an army unit was late for afternoon inspection.

“Where are those camouflage trucks?” the irate colonel barked.

“They’re here somewhere,” replied the sergeant, “but we can’t find’em.”

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: “Change your course 10 degree east.”
The light signals back: “Change yours, 10 degrees west.”
Angry, the captain sends: “I’m a navy captain! Change your course, sir!”
“I’m a seaman, second class,” comes the reply. “Change your course, sir.”
Now the captain is furious. “I’m a battleship! I’m not changing course!”
There is one last reply. “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”

Q. Why aren't there very many Wal-Mart’s in Afghanistan?

A. Because there are too many targets!

A lady sitting at home got a phone call. She answered it; a strange sounding man said, "This is the Viper. I am coming." the lady was frightened. 5 minutes later she got another phone call the same man replied" This is the Viper. I am almost there." The lady was terrified. Another 5 minutes later the phone range again. It was the same man. He said, " I am coming up now." The lady was so scared she called the police. Before the police got there, a man walked in the door with a bucket of water and a window wiper. The man said " I'm the Viper I vome to vipe your vindows!"