misc jokes

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just declare darkness the standard

A psychiatrist’s secretary went into her boss's office. Secretary: "Sir, someone would like to see you. Claims he's invisible."
Psychiatrist: "Tell him I can't see him."

There are two cows out in a field in Britain. One cow turns to the other and asks, "Are you worried about this Mad Cow disease?" The other cow responds, "Nope." The first cow exclaims, "How can you say that? Cows all over England are getting it. I'm scared stiff!" The other cow just looks at him and says, "Mad Cow disease, why should I be worried? I'm a helicopter."

Q: Why do ducks have webbed feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks.