After a long day a sailor enters a bar, and noticed a pirate sitting at the bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and an eye patch. So the sailor walks over to the pirate and says, “May I ask how you lost your leg?"

The pirate replied, "Arrrrr one stormy night on me ship I fell overboard, and a shark swam up to me and bit off me leg."

The sailor says,"That's to bad, but how did you lose your hand?"

The pirate replied, "Arrrrr, one day at sea me and my crew were battling an enemy and we were using swords so one of those b**t**ds cut off me hand."

"How did you lose your eye?" asked the sailor.

"Well, one summer day I was looking at the clouds, and a seagull came and pooped in me eye," said the pirate.

"You lost your eye because a seagull pooped in it?“ said the sailor.

"No, you see it was the first day with the hook!“