Best Jokes

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. “As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say ‘$150.’ “If her eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $100.’ “If her eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.’”

A neurotic is the person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.

How can you tell that managed cared has cut into your doctor’s income?
He takes Friday off to play miniature golf.

When I had my surgery, the doctor gave me a local anesthetic. I could not afford the imported kind.