Latest Jokes

A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge." The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting." But tell me what does the sign on the door say? The guy replies, “It says 'Pull'”!!!

The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the town’s preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, “Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if that’s your pa.”

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student aide, Sam found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn’t need Sam’s help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let Sam wheel him to the elevator. On the way down Sam asked him if his wife was meeting him.

"I don’t know,” he said. “She is till upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.”

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, and then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them.
Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, “You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Doyle” “why would you say that?” wondered the broker. “Because you’ve made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career.”