Latest Jokes

Running into the house after school Tommy said to his mother, “Mom! Isn’t an ox a kind of a bull?”

“Yes, she replied.

“And doesn’t equine have something to do with horses?”

“That’s right,” she said.

Running out of the house, Tommy said, “I’ll see you later!”

“Why? Where are you going?” asked his mother.

“To some other town, I just heard in school that the equinox is coming and I don’t wanna be around when it gets here!”

The lion tamer led his young apprentice into the cage. “The first thing to remember,” said the older man, “is that if a lion jumps at you, throw something at it.”
“And what do I do if there’s nothing to throw?”
The lion tamer said, “If a lion jumps at you __ there will be.”

Visiting a genealogist, a man asked how much it would cost to have his family tree traced. “It could cost thousands of dollars,” said the woman. “I see. Well, isn’t there an easier way? A less expensive way?” “Sure,” she replied. “Run for president.”

While walking to the ninth hole, one psychiatrist said to his colleague, would you believe that yesterday I had a patient who claimed he heard music every time he put on his hat?”
“Really? What did you do?”
The psychiatrist answered, “I took it away and removed the band.”