Latest Jokes

A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.
"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?" "To kill my husband."
"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"
The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.
The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.
He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.