Latest Jokes

Q: What did the CEO from Arthur Anderson tell the Senate committee when asked about "cooking" Enron's books?
A: "It's Shake-n-Bake and I helped!"

The National Game warden put out a warning to all hikers in his area. Warning that they should wear small bells on their boots so not to startle the bears. To distinguish the grizzly bear the notice read-- small bears droppings are small with nut and berries in it. Grizzly bear droppings are much larger with nuts and berries and little tiny bells in it.

Two snakes are walking down the street. "Oh man, I have to ask you something," the little one said.

"What is it?"

"Are we dangerous? You know, venomous?"

The other one said, "Of course we are, why?"

"Because I just bit myself!"

A man walks into his local butcher's shop and complains about the leg of lamb that he had previously bought, when I cooked it the joint had shrunk so much it went from 12 inches long to only 4-inches. The butcher said to the man that’s funny my wife knitted me a sweater and when she washed it, it was also 4-inches in length, what’s your sweater got to do with my leg of lamb asked the man, the butcher replied well they both must have come from the same sheep.