A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that. The wife responded, But we've never subscribed to any papers!!!

One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party. After two cases of beer are gone, they want to go get some more beers. So they discuss who's going to go get the beers. The turtle says, "I will go, you both just wait here." Two hours later, the turtle hasn't back yet, so the centipede says, “I will go.” So they open the door and see, turtle still walking out of the door. Because turtle walk too slow, the centipede says, “You both wait for me to come back, I got a lot of legs, I can walk fast.” So the snake and the turtle, wait for another two hours. Finally the snake is says, “What will take centipedes that long? So they open the door and check, wow, centipedes still at the front of the door, he is still putting on his shoes. Finally, snake said “let me go, I can walk fast, and no feet to put on shoes.” So snake went. After three hours, snake wasn't back yet. Both of them went to the store and see. And they saw snake stand there. And the snake says, " Don't give me that dirty look, only took me 5 minutes to the store, but I am still figuring out how to bring the beer back."