Why are cats so bad at video games?
Because they can only press paws.
I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.
A guy and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed.Mom says "This is horrible, what should we do?" Dad goes, "Well we can't spank him!"
Two men were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking himself. One man said "I wish I could do that." The other man said "you should probably just pet him first."