[The next day, again] Buddha walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The vendor then hands him the hot dog and Buddha pays him with a ten.

The vendor puts it in his till and moves on to the next customer.

Buddha says, "What about my change?"

The vendor replies, "change comes from within".

Two men were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking himself.
One man said "I wish I could do that."
The other man said "you should probably just pet him first."

A software engineer, a mechanical engineer, and an electrical engineer are carpooling to work, when suddenly the car stops running and they pull over.
The mechanical engineer says, "I think it's a problem with the engine. I'll have to get out and inspect."
The electrical engineer says, "No, no. It's got to be an electrical issue. I will grab my meter and troubleshoot to find out what is going on."
The software engineer says, "Nuts to all that. Let's just get out and get back in again."

A guy and his wife find an S & M magazine under their son's bed.
Mom says "This is horrible, what should we do?"
Dad goes, "Well we can't spank him!"