HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1065
# of followers : 28
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 11
Location: United States
won: $ 854.00
4 votes

Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:

There is nothing new... under a rock.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with... a private jet.

If you can't stand the heat... try Antarctica.

Better late than... absent.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and... then blow your nose.

A bird in the hand is... better than a woodpecker on your head.

Early to bed, early to rise... and you will get the best cereal.

Don't burn your bridges... or you'll fall in the lake.

Haste makes... sweat.

A penny saved... is not a lot.

A miss is as good as... a mister.

4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

A saleswoman is speaking to her psychiatrist. "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

"Don't you have a phone in your car?"

"That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car."

"Uh... how's that working?"

"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."

"And why do you think that is?"

"I figure its because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
3 votes

A man running a little behind schedule arrives at the cinema, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie.

It even seemed to be enjoying the movie: wagging its tail in the happy bits, drooping its ears at the sad bits, and hiding its eyes with its paws at the scary bits.

After the movie, the man approaches the dog's owner, "Wow, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie. I'm amazed!"

"Yes, I can't believe it myself," came the reply. "He hated the book."

3 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.

The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, “This is for washing our hair.”

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer, “The curlers are on me.”

4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |