HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1075
# of followers : 28
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 9
Location: United States
won: $ 869.00
4 votes

Apparently this was an actual radio conversation:

#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

#2: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"

#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

4 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

My husband and I had gone to a restaurant with friends. When the hostess led us to a circular booth, we noticed the vinyl seat was covered with crumbs and asked if it could be cleaned off.

The young woman sat down at one end of the booth, slid around to the other side, then sprang up with a smile as she asked, "Did I get it all?"

4 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

Here's a quick guide to calorie-burning activities that do not require physical exercise, and the number of calories per hour they consume.

Beating around the bush - 75
Jumping to conclusions - 100
Passing the buck - 25
Throwing your weight around - 50-300 (depending on your weight)
Dragging your heels - 100
Pushing your luck - 250
Making mountains out of molehills - 500
Hitting the nail on the head - 50
Bending over backwards - 75
Jumping on the bandwagon - 200
Running around in circles - 350
Climbing the ladder of success - 750
Pulling out the stops - 75
Wrapping it up at the day's end - 12

To which you may want to add some additional activities, including:

Opening a can of worms - 50
Starting the ball rolling - 90
Putting your foot in your mouth - 300

And finally
Picking up the pieces after - 350

4 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground.

Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”

With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back—and fell off the other side. From the ground again, he called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”


4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |