A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer pulled him over and began to issue a traffic ticket. "How did you know I was speeding?" the frustrated driver asked.
The police officer pointed somberly toward the sky.
"You mean," asked the motorist, "that even He is against me?"
A man was walking through the grounds of a university one morning when he noticed a young blind woman struggling with her Guide-Dog. The animal was resolutely pulling in one direction, she in another.
When he offered assistance, the woman replied, "No thanks, this is a family argument. The dog knows I'm supposed to go to a lecture right now -- but I want to miss it."
Maury and his wife showed up to a very popular restaurant, but it was very crowded. Mrs. Maury went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?"
The hostess appeared to ignore her and kept writing in her book. So she asked again, "How much of a wait?"
The hostess then looked up and said, "About ten minutes."
A short time later they heard an announcement over the loudspeaker, "Willete B. Long, your table is ready."
A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two chairs provided for men outside the ladies fitting room in our local department store. After 30 minutes and 6 changes of outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the changing room one more time. He looked at her and immediately said, "That looks great on you! Get that one."
"Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."