HENNE Profile



User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 965
# of followers : 27
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 2
Location: United States
won: $ 738.00
5 votes

Here's a quick guide to calorie-burning activities that do not require physical exercise, and the number of calories per hour they consume.

Beating around the bush - 75
Jumping to conclusions - 100
Passing the buck - 25
Throwing your weight around - 50-300 (depending on your weight)
Dragging your heels - 100
Pushing your luck - 250
Making mountains out of molehills - 500
Hitting the nail on the head - 50
Bending over backwards - 75
Jumping on the bandwagon - 200
Running around in circles - 350
Climbing the ladder of success - 750
Pulling out the stops - 75
Wrapping it up at the day's end - 12

To which you may want to add some additional activities, including:

Opening a can of worms - 50
Starting the ball rolling - 90
Putting your foot in your mouth - 300

And finally
Picking up the pieces after - 350

5 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
4 votes

An old-time pastor was riding furiously down the road, hurrying to get to church on time. Suddenly, his horse stumbled and threw him to the ground.

Lying in the dirt, his body wracked with pain, the pastor called out, “All you angels in heaven, help me get up on my horse!”

With extraordinary strength, he leaped onto the horse’s back—and fell off the other side. From the ground again, he called out, “All right, just half of you angels this time!”

4 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
2 votes

Four senior golfers hit the course, some of them with waning enthusiasm for the sport.

"These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained.

"These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others.

"The sand traps seem to be bigger than I remember them too," said the third senior.

After hearing enough from his senior buddies, the oldest, and the wisest of the four of them at 87 years old, piped up and said, "Quit your dang complaining and just be thankful we're still on the RIGHT SIDE of the grass!"

2 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
$8.00 won 5 votes

Vincent Van Gogh had a really large family. Here's a listing of some of the lesser known relatives:

The really obnoxious brother - Please Gogh
The brother who ate prunes - Gotta Gogh
His dizzy aunt - Verti Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
And his magician uncle - Wherediddy Gogh

5 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "HENNE" |