Billy Brown decided it was time to buy a new house, so he decided to sell his old house and put the matter in a real estate agent's hands.
The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Bill read it, he turned to the agent and asked, "Does my house have everything your ad says it does?"
The agent said, "It certainly does. Why do you ask?"
Bill replied, "Cancel the sale. It's exactly what I'm looking for!"
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave.
Eventually, a sports car pulled up, and two teens got out. "This I've got to see," I thought.
They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off laughing.
When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo:
To all employees: If you must drink during you lunch hours, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.