At three o'clock one morning, a veterinary surgeon was awoken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone.
"I'm sorry if I woke you," said a voice at the other end of the line.
"That's all right," said the vet, "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."
Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said, "go ahead."
"And this is my pole," he said.
My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain."
And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.
A guy asks his neighbor in an apartment building, “Mr Trepper, you live directly above me and you have the same 2-room apartment as I do. How many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you moved in?
“We got 18 rolls,” answers the neighbor.
Two months later the guy meets his neighbor again and says, “It’s really funny – I put the wallpaper on everywhere and I still had 10 rolls left over.”
Neighbor smiles, “Yeah, so did we.“