HENNE Profile

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HENNE

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 707
# of followers : 25
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 8
Location: United States
won: $ 610.00
0 votes

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.

"Is it true," the tourist asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

0 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
0 votes

I have discovered the answer to a question that has been puzzling scientists for hundreds of years. What is the exact difference between a split second and a nanosecond?

My girlfriend and I were getting ready to go to a fancy dinner when, right as we were about to leave home, my girlfriend asked me the question all guys dread. She asked, “Does this dress look bad on me?”

If I had said “no” in a nanosecond, we’d have been out the door. However, since I took a split second before responding, she had to go back up to her closet to change, again.

0 votes

posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

Preparing for a yard sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good.

Shortly after the sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly. "It still has the plastic on it."

Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
1 votes

I was doing some baking for the holidays, so I was kneading dough. It was getting late and I was tired so, I decided to leave the cleanup mess until the next morning.

The next morning, I was getting my coffee and I noticed thousands of little tiny footprints in the flour on the countertop.

Needless to say, I wasted no time calling the FBI.

They confirmed that I did, in fact, have Ant-Tracks.

Yikes!

1 votes

CATEGORY Holiday Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |