Here about the kid who at 5 cans of alphabet soup in one sitting?

They say he later had a massive 'vowel' movement.

Father to his son:

Do you know why I call your mother my Death Star?

Because she makes my world explode!

@dadjokehansolo

What kind of car does a Jedi drive?

A Toy-YODA!

@dadjokehansolo

A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:

"Bob, I'm sorry. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you're not around, probably more than you. I know it's no excuse but I don't get it at home. I can't live with the guilt any longer. I hope you'll accept my sincerest apology. It won't happen again."

Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob goes into his bedroom, and without a word, demands a divorce from his wife.

Moments later the guy gets a second text: "Really should use spell check! That should be 'wifi'."