My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter.
"So, Katie," said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, "who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?"
Katie replied, "I think it’s my Uncle Brian."
My wife and I were having a very hypothetical discussion... In the unlikely event that Hollywood made a movie based on our lives, we wondered what stars would play us.
"Who would you pick to portray you?" she asked me.
I thought about it for a minute, then answered, "George Clooney."
"In that case," she said, "I’ll play myself."
My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm.
Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I found them in the bathroom, washing their hands. Over the loud buzzing of the smoke alarm, I asked them to identify the sound.
"It’s the smoke detector," they replied in unison.
"Do you know what that sound means?" I demanded.
"Sure," my oldest replied. "Dinner’s ready."
My daughter had absentmindedly left her sneakers on our kitchen table. "That’s disgusting," my husband grumbled. "Doesn’t she realize we eat off that table?"
Then he went out back to work on the car. I cleaned the table and left to do my grocery shopping.
When I came home I couldn’t set my bags down anywhere. Sitting in the middle of the kitchen table was a car muffler.