Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 61
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$25.00 won 5 votes

To get my cousin to write to her even once, my aunt resorted to sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank you.”

A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.

“I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Mary" |
$25.00 won 5 votes

My techie husband and I were walking in the high desert when he stopped to photograph one stunning vista after another.

Overcome by the sheer beauty, he paid it his ultimate compliment: "Wow... everywhere I look, I see a screen saver!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Computer Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Mary" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

Blood may be thicker than water, but baseball beats them both.

I learned this after explaining to my two boys that they were half-Lithuanian on their father’s side, and half-Yankee, meaning their other set of parents came from an old New England family.

My younger son looked worried. "But we’re still a hundred percent Red Sox, right, Mom?"

5 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

My fellow teacher called for help—she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net."

Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out.

Later, the teacher called back. The trick worked. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."

5 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |