Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 59
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$12.00 won 6 votes

My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.

He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.

Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”

6 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books.

After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn’t answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books.

“Since I couldn’t find the right engagement ring, this will have to do,” he said as he firmly stamped my hand.

Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read... “NOT FOR CIRCULATION".

6 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Mary" |
$10.00 won 4 votes

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard."

He then scratches out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard." Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.

"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch, scratch.

He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. Back to his notepad, he writes, "Head on curb."

4 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Mary" |
$50.00 won 6 votes

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?"

"No, sorry." says the cop.

"What about all these other cars?"

"Well, they didn't ask."

6 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Mary" |