Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 61
# of followers : 2
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$9.00 won 9 votes

I was at a yard sale one day and saw a box marked, “Electronic cat and dog call—guaranteed to work”.

I looked inside and was amused to see an electric can opener.

9 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "Mary" |
$12.00 won 7 votes

I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third-grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.

“Hi, Miss Butcher,” I said.

“Hi, Eddie,” she replied.

“So you do remember me?” I asked.

“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but you definitely leave a lasting one.”

7 votes

CATEGORY School Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$12.00 won 6 votes

My boyfriend Hans and I met online. After dating a long time, I introduced him to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the Internet.

He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.

Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, “I just used a modem.”

6 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$8.00 won 6 votes

I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books.

After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn’t answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books.

“Since I couldn’t find the right engagement ring, this will have to do,” he said as he firmly stamped my hand.

Across my knuckles, in capital letters, it read... “NOT FOR CIRCULATION".

6 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Mary" |