Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 61
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$10.00 won 4 votes

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard."

He then scratches out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard." Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch.

"Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch, scratch.

He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. Back to his notepad, he writes, "Head on curb."

4 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Mary" |
$50.00 won 6 votes

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, "Can I park here?"

"No, sorry." says the cop.

"What about all these other cars?"

"Well, they didn't ask."

6 votes

CATEGORY Police Jokes
Joke Won 1st Place won $50.00
posted by "Mary" |
$12.00 won 3 votes

On his birthday, my husband was stuck driving our six rambunctious children around. As usual, they were yelling, punching, and annoying one another. Joel finally had had enough.

“Kids,” he said, “if you would behave and be kind to each other, that would be a very nice birthday present for me.”

Our six-year-old shot back, “Too late dad, I already got you another present.”

3 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

“My great-grandma gave me this money,” said my three-year-old, happily clutching a $20 bill he’d gotten as a present.

“That’s right,” I said. “How did you know that?”

Pointing to Andrew Jackson’s face in the middle, he said, “Because her picture is on it.”

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |