Mary Profile

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Mary

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2016
# of jokes posted : 59
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 873.00
$25.00 won 6 votes

We had just finished tucking our five kids into bed when three-year-old Billy began to wail. Turns out, he had accidentally swallowed a penny and was sure he was going to die.

Desperate to calm him, my husband palmed a penny that he had in his pocket and pretended to pull it from Billy’s ear.

Billy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from my husband’s hand, swallowed it, and demanded, “Do it again!”

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "Mary" |
$10.00 won 4 votes

As she slid behind the wheel for her first driving lesson, my daughter couldn’t contain her excitement.

"You need to make adjustments so the car is comfortable for you, the driver," I began. "Now, what’s the first thing you should do?"

"Change the radio station," she said.

4 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 7 votes

One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."

This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What’s a Tupperware party, Dad?"

I’ve always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Brian," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."

Brian nodded, indicating that he understood. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"

7 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |
$15.00 won 6 votes

Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from, my customer at the toy store still couldn’t find a thing for her grandson.

"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.

"No, that’s not it," she said.

We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye, a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds.

"This is perfect," she said, beaming. "My daughter-in-law will hate it."

6 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Mary" |