Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 2454
# of followers : 8
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 1
Location: United States
won: $ 461.00
2 votes

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''

2 votes

posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
4 votes

Nearly 100% of all deaths occur on Earth...

That makes it the deadliest planet in the Solar System.

4 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 5 votes

I love bacon.

Sometimes I eat it twice a day.

It helps take my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.

5 votes

CATEGORY Food Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
3 votes

My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, “I have some really great news!”

I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”

She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”

Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”

I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”

She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”

Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.

She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”

3 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |