A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''
The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''
The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''
My neighbor’s wife came running up to me in the driveway the other day just jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping for joy but I started jumping up and down along with her.
She said, “I have some really great news!”
I said, “Great. Tell me what you’re so happy about.”
She stopped jumping just long enough to tell me that she was pregnant. I was happy for her. I know they have been trying for a long time. I told her, “That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!”
Then she said “Oh, there’s more!”
I asked, “What do you mean ‘more’?”
She said, “Well, we’re not having just ONE baby. We’re going to have TWINS!”
Amazed that she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked how she knew this.
She said, “Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the Twin-Pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!”