On the farm where I was raised, home canning was a big thing. Most folks had a garden and ate out of it all summer, the surplus was put up in bottles for the winter.

The common saying was:
"WE EAT WHAT WE CAN, AND WHAT WE CAN'T, WE CAN."

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

It's two gross!

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies. This was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime.

Instead of making any official requests to the tower he said, "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, Sarah decided she had been stood up.

Exasperated, she changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and hot chocolate, and resigned herself to an evening of TV.

No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV when the doorbell rang. Her dad went to the door, and there stood her date.

He took one look at Sarah on the couch and gasped, "I'm two hours late and she's still not ready?"