Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags,
Please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray,
As for my belly, Please take it away.
Keep me healthy, Keep me young,
And thank you Lord, For all you've done.
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies, "Get out. You're on my side."
You might not know this... but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in... but you can see right through them
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off....it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object... Because to get them to go anywhere.....you have to light a fire under their arse.
SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft......squeezable and retain water.