A man is applying for a job in a circus. The interviewer asks: "So what can you do?"
"I can do a really good bird impression" replied the man
"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"
"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away.
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."