Why was the little shoe sad?
Because his Mother was a sneaker and his Dad was a loafer.
"Waiter, it's been half hour since I ordered that turtle soup."
"Yes, sir, but you know how slow turtles are."
BARBER: (To a long-haired teenager) You're next.
TEENAGER: I'm not waiting for a haircut.
BARBER: What are you waiting for?
TEENAGER: Nothing. My Dad's looking for me and this is the last place in the world he would look.