The wife told her husband, "Let's go antique shopping today. I'm feeling Victorian."

"No," he said, "let's not... I'm feeling baroque!"

A Golfer walks into the pro shop at the local course and asks the golf pro if they sell ball markers.

The golf pro says, "Yes, they are just $1.00 each. "

The guy gives the golf pro a dollar and says he'll take one.

The golf pro opens the register, puts the dollar in the tray and with a big smile hands the guy a quarter.

Busy in the yard one afternoon, my father paused to admire our neighbor's new boat.

"Sure is a beauty, Charles," Dad said. Knowing that Charles was conservative when it came to spending money, my father asked, "Was it expensive?"

"The boat itself wasn't so bad," Charles replied. "But the extras really hurt."

"You mean things like water skis, life jackets, and trailer?" my father asked.

"No," our neighbor said with a sigh. "I mean what the wife wanted - the new carpet, the kitchen cabinets, and the cabin room furniture."

I'm not a tech junkie but I was a little skeptical when the salesman told me this would be the last GPS I ever needed. I am only 65 and I know technology changes and new and better ones come out every year.

I began to feel extremely uncomfortable and thought maybe he was right when I went to visit my wife at the cemetery and the GPS blurted out: "You have reached your final destination."