JCVD Profile



User Details

Member Since : Apr, 2019
# of jokes posted : 46
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 43.00
1 votes

My kids were fighting over their toys. I warned them if they kept it up I would take the toys away. They didn’t stop so I took them away to teach them a lesson.

Afterwards, they were still fighting. I said, “That’s it!” and gave them their toys back.

Lesson learned.

1 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "JCVD" |
1 votes

A bicycle rolls into the doctor's office.

It says, “ Doc, you gotta help me! I can’t keep from yawning all day long.”

The doctor says, “ Well, I think it’s because you’re too tired.”

1 votes

posted by "JCVD" |
2 votes

What do you call a dog that won’t come when you call it, refuses to sleep in it’s bed, and seldom wants to play?

A cat.

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "JCVD" |
$8.00 won 3 votes
rating rating rating rating rating

A criminal has an idea for a business. To execute the crooked plan he hires a partner. He explains everything, “First, you secretly flatten people’s car tires. Then, offer our tire changing service through an advertisement. Got it?”

A few weeks later, after getting no customers, the cops show up at their tire changing garage, placing them under arrest due to suspicious advertising. On the way to jail, the criminal who thought up the plan asks the partner about the advertisement.

“Well, I had a great idea. I realized we could save ourselves a lot of time by stabbing our flyer directly into the tire.”

3 votes

CATEGORY Dumb Criminals
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "JCVD" |