JCVD Profile



User Details

Member Since : Apr, 2019
# of jokes posted : 46
# of followers : 0
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 43.00
1 votes

Did you hear about the big power outage last week that hit New York City’s Theater District ?

It was a real show stopper!

1 votes

posted by "JCVD" |
2 votes

A groundhog wonders if he’s cursed, having been reincarnated as the same animal, again and again.

Standing on a cliff looming over an unforeseeably deep body of water, he waves goodbye to his friends, warning, “You may not recognize me in the next life.”

He jumps off the edge, plunging down into the watery grave, once again being reborn as the same groundhog.

“Unbelievable!” says one groundhog to another, both watching in dismay, “He’s gone over that waterfall, into the fountain, been sucked up through the circulation tube, and shot back out where he started, I don’t know how many times.”

2 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
posted by "JCVD" |
$6.00 won 5 votes
rating rating rating rating rating

In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around.”

A seal says a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate.”

A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I saw it chew up all the grass. I think we might be related somehow. Maybe cousins.”

Opposite the animals, eating their lunch, one landscaper says to the other, “I wonder if they talk to each other?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Animal Jokes
Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "JCVD" |
3 votes

I went to the home improvement store to buy some paint. I saw the Behr brand. It had a picture of a bear on the label. I’m not sure what “B-e-h-r" is supposed to spell but it isn’t bear.

I wasn’t going to buy a brand that doesn’t know there’s a difference in spellings.

I went with Sherwin Williams because it was clear with their brand name it would be a sher-win for me!

3 votes

posted by "JCVD" |