A man sees an ad for a $50 cruise on Craigslist. Despite his better judgement, he grabs some cash and makes his way to the address given in the ad.
He opens the door to a small office and is knocked unconscious from behind. He wakes up tied to a barrel floating in the Atlantic Ocean. "Well, this sucks," he thinks out loud.
A second man floats by, also tied to a barrel. "Tell me about it," the second man replies. "This is worse than last year."
Genie: OK, I'm ready for your third wish.
Me: Third? What about the first two?
Genie: Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said "I wish I'd never made that wish!" So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of both of them.
Me: Well, OK. I wish I really understood how women think.
Genie: Granted. By the way, that was your first wish, too.
A priest and a homeless man are standing on the road in a heavy storm, holding a sign that says "Turn Back, the end is Nigh!"
A car passes them, the driver yelling, "Get off the road you lunatics!"
As it rounds the corner a loud crash is heard.
The homeless man then tells the priest, "I told you we should've written 'Bridge out'!"