Genie: OK, I'm ready for your third wish.

Me: Third? What about the first two?

Genie: Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said "I wish I'd never made that wish!" So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of both of them.

Me: Well, OK. I wish I really understood how women think.

Genie: Granted. By the way, that was your first wish, too.

A woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she tells a corrections officer, "You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying, "Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his cell!"

"That's not true!" she shouts. "He just told me he is been digging a tunnel for months!"

"Man, me and my wife had a fight yesterday."

"Oh yea, about what?"

"You see, I wanted to watch the game but she wanted to watch a movie."

"So, how was the movie?"

What did the Brit say when he paid 2,000 pounds for his fridge?

"Goodness gracious, that costs a ton!"