SIGN OVER A DOCTOR's OFFICE:

"Dr. Jones, OBGYN, at your cervix!"

Do you know what I love most about baseball?

The pine tar, the resin, the grass, the dirt...

And that's just in the hot dogs!

I never got along well with my dad.

Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad."

I'd just say, "Yeah, when?"