Leogal Profile

Image
 

Leogal

User Details

Member Since : Oct, 2015
# of jokes posted : 57
# of followers : 21
# of following: 4
eligible jokes to win : 0
Location: United States
won: $ 467.00
$5.00 won 5 votes

How do you make Holy Water?

You boil the hell out of it!

5 votes

Joke Won 7th Place won $5.00
posted by "Leogal" |
$15.00 won 10 votes
 

A man goes swimming in the ocean but gets sucked out to sea. A boat passes by him and tells him to climb aboard but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."

The Coast Guard comes by with a rescue helicopter and tells him to climb the ladder up, but he says, "I have faith, God will save me."

The man is now getting tired but thankfully a dolphin swims under him and starts to carry him to shore, but the man pushes the dolphin away saying, "I have faith, God will save me."

The man dies and goes to Heaven. He asks God, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replies, "I tried! I sent a ship, a helicopter and a dolphin!"

10 votes

Joke Won 2nd Place won $15.00
posted by "Leogal" |
$5.00 won 5 votes
 

Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting strange.

We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, and again he said nothing. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary: Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out!!

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $5.00
posted by "Leogal" |
$15.00 won 9 votes

An elderly man was remembering the good old days. “When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese, and 10 eggs.

Nowadays that is impossible... there are simply too many security cameras!

9 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
Joke Won 3rd Place won $15.00
posted by "Leogal" |