What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?

Feyonce'

On a beautiful sunny summer morning there were two cows in a field.

The first cow said "mooo" and the second cow said "baaaaaa."

The first cow was surprised and asked the second cow, "Why did you say "baaaaa?"

The second cow replied, "I am learning a foreign language."

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says - "What the hell was that all about?"

What do computers eat for a snack?

Microchips!