merk Profile

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merk

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 1093
# of followers : 3
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 5
Location: United States
won: $ 1041.00
$12.00 won 2 votes
 

A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.

"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"

"What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "His wife sent him out for a jar of olives."

2 votes

Joke Won 4th Place won $12.00
posted by "merk" |
$25.00 won 3 votes

Two friends are talking over lunch in an outdoor patio.

"So what are you doing for summer vacation?" one asks.

The other one replies, " I want to go to Italy again, like last year."

The first asks, "Wow! You went to Italy last year?"

The other answers, "No, but I wanted to."

3 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 2nd Place won $25.00
posted by "merk" |
$10.00 won 2 votes

At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it... you don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"

2 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
Joke Won 5th Place won $10.00
posted by "merk" |
$9.00 won 1 votes
 

A woman told a marriage counselor that her husband's complaint that he leads a dog's life is probably well founded.

"He comes in the house with muddy feet," she said, "tracks across my clean floors, barks at nothing, growls at his food, and makes himself comfortable on my best furniture."

1 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
Joke Won 6th Place won $9.00
posted by "merk" |