A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: "I'm the greatest hitter in the world," he announced.
Then, he tossed the ball into the air, swung at it, and missed.
"Strike one!" he yelled. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"
He tossed the ball into the air. When it came down he swung again and missed.
"Strike two!" he cried.
The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spit on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"
Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed.
"Strike three!"
"Wow!" he exclaimed. "I'm the greatest PITCHER in the world!"
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A magician was working on a Caribbean cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician allowed himself to do the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the show every week and began to understand what the magician did in every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show:
"Look, it's not the same hat!"
"Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!"
"Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything; it was the captain's parrot after all. One day the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean, and of course the parrot was by his side. They stared at each other with hate, but did not utter a word.
This went on for several days. After a week the parrot finally said: "Okay, I give up. What'd you do with the boat?"
What does the Easter Bunny get for making a basket?
Two points, just like everyone else!