I asked a supermarket worker where they kept the canned peaches. He said, "I'll see" and walked away.

He never came back. When I saw another supermarket worker, I asked him. He said, "I'll see" and walked away. He never came back either.

I got tired of waiting and started looking up and down every aisle. I finally found them.

They were in Aisle C.

My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.

My school had it’s own coroner.

We used to write essays like: “What I want to be IF I grow up...”

A lady went to the salon to get a new hair style. While getting her hair done, she noticed a handsome man sitting quietly in the waiting area.

She turns to the man and begins flirting with him. The man replies, “I’m married.”

The woman continues to flirt, “Just tell her you’re going to visit a friend in the hospital.”

The man replies, “Tell her yourself. She’s the one doing your hair.”

A retiring farmer needed to rid his farm of animals in preparation for
selling his land. So he went to every house in his town.

To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses
where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.

He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.

"I am." said the man.

"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one
would you like?"

The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."

"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.

"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.