Harry Finkelstein Profile

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Harry Finkelstein

User Details

Member Since : Jan, 2017
# of jokes posted : 3386
# of followers : 10
# of following: 0
eligible jokes to win : 7
Location: United States
won: $ 938.00
$5.00 won 3 votes

A woman saw an electrician walking up her drive and rushed to the door.

"Why did you come today?" she barked. "You were supposed to repair the doorbell yesterday?

I know," the electrician replied. "I rang three times. There was no answer, so I thought you must be out."

3 votes

CATEGORY Business Jokes
Joke Won 10th Place won $5.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$6.00 won 2 votes
 

A man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ".

He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

2 votes

Joke Won 9th Place won $6.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$8.00 won 5 votes
 

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

10. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

11. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. You can't remember who sent you this list.

5 votes

CATEGORY Elderly Jokes
Joke Won 7th Place won $8.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |
$7.00 won 1 votes

I never make the same mistake twice.

I do it like, five or six times, you know, to make sure.

1 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
Joke Won 8th Place won $7.00
posted by "Harry Finkelstein" |