A seven-year-old boy dressed in his pajamas was safely pulled over by police after driving his mom's car 20 miles because he wanted to visit his dad.
The mother said the boy is really in trouble because he was only supposed to go to 7-11 for a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight. Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug asked, "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe."
All my husband wanted was to pay for some batteries, but none of the clerks in the electronics store seemed interested in helping him.
"I've got an idea," I said and pulled a tape measure out of my purse. I stepped over to one of the giant plasma-screen TVs and started to measure it.
Faster than you can say high definition, a young man came running over. "May I help you?" he asked breathlessly.
"Yes," I said. "I'd like to buy these batteries."
Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy.
"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"
"Sure! Fifteen hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"