I was the best door-to-door security alarms salesman for several years running.
The trick was to level a brochure on the kitchen table if there was nobody home.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it means one of two things...
It's either a new car or a new wife!
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why women like Chinese food so much.
The study revealed that this is due to the fact that 'Won Ton' spelled backward is 'Not Now'.